According to Doyle.

Good day fellow travellers! I hope you are feeling wonderful, wild and slightly moist on this Manic Monday.

Now I'm sure you have all seen the most controversial bit of news since the poolato incident at the Coogee Beach Hotel.

He's written a list and he's checking it twice.

Doyle's plan is to rid Melbourne's CBD of the badly talented buskers.

We find this proposal slightly disquieting

Tell me about it.

The reasoning behind this is that Doyle does not want the city to be a 'bogan magnet'. Ummm... unfortunately dear Doyle, the bogans are not getting pulled into the gravitational force being administered by Mr S. Manipulator esq. nor are they magnetically attracted to Bernadette's fingers dancing over her gilded piano accordion.

Instead it is a simple network effect - one bogan coming to the city, attracts another, and another...

"Oh my gawwd, Jeht, JEHT, are you coming? Look at this Jeht. JEHT! This is fucking top shit. Hey dipshit, get over here or I will fucking hurt you! Can you fucking hear me Jeht? Do you want me to hurt you fuckface? I'll smash you. etc etc"

Birds of a feather flock together Doyle. Don't you forget it.

And why buskers? Buskers are fabulous! Allowing buskers to turn a buck on our city streets foists some seriously quirky characters on to the public consciousness (several very literally larger than life). It also incites vociferous debate and provides ample opportunities to ridicule those that are utterly convinced of their vocal supremacy when they actually sound like the worst thing that came out of this country musically since Toni Pearen's first single produces many quasi-polished performances.

Doyle - one day in, and you are already headed for a mayorship that can be depicted graphically as thus:

Most liveable city --> a city in shambles

Fin.