So you think you can dance... again?

Well I know I can dance, what about you?

Season 2 is here. Everybody: Season 2 is here. MUMMMMMMMMMMM Season 2 is HEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Contrived crap if I ever saw it.

And as much as Jason kept saying Season 1 was about setting the benchmark and Season 2 is about raising it, I just can't see how that could possibly happen. Not only do we have recycled contestants (Blow Job, Gee-ahn and Chanel no 5), we have an excess supply of hip hoppers! I like hip hop very much, oh yes I do, but come ON. Lleyton is quaking in his boots about this.

Bonnie had clearly hit the pre-show entertainment bucket of thrills, spills and pills. And Jason is probably going to struggle to keep it in his pants this series as it is like he is looking at a Man in the Mirror when it comes to Danny, the-only-gay-in-the-Broken-Hill-village:

OK ok...

I know that was a bit of a:

Looong bow

But I am very busy at my place of employ and so my creative juices are not flowing like an extra juicy Starburst.

To the performances:

• Contemporary is drawn by Pania. (what kind of name is that - sound likes a Spanish herbed bread). Pania partners up with Ben. The praise is lavished from the judges after their turn on the d-floor to the Presets. As jaded as I am, this made me think about smiling.
• Then we have cha-cha. Emmanuel from a country town near you is partnered with Talia. Emmanuel has some seriously grotesque facial expressions - some moves clearly called for some serious strain, either that or he had passed a smidgen of stool or even worse, he suddenly remembered he left the iron on. This performance was more of a mild boring.
• Ooh lyrical. My fav. We have Lamb and Timomatic... the resident ovine pocket rocket and the-guy-from-Canberra-who-thinks-if-you-soup-up-the-name-Tim-it-sounds-a-hell-of-a-lot-cooler. Next!
• Broadway. Are those band aids over your nipples Amy or am I in an emergency ward? And Dad - bless - he likes to watch. Damien is quite the dark, brooding, boring burger. He'll be out the door in the next two weeks for sure.
• Rumbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Stephen and girl with superfluous hyphen: Ash-leigh. What a contrived performance. What a contrived pash. I could create a steamier scene with a brick!
• A hip to the hop with Penny (aka I always end sentences with an upward inflection) and Charlie (aren't you just adorable?). STARS. Although the contact lenses were a bit OTT. Ugh.
• Lyrical-alicious with Kat and Danny. Clear that these cool cats are the team to beat (c.f. what the judges said about Penstar and Charlstar above). In true predatory style, Kat tried to catch flies on her tongue. Danny was just mmm hmmm mmmm - Jason had to change his underwear afterwards. And then the song - David Lynch meets base reality TV - I like it, I really do.
• YAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNN for the MGMT explosion - ugh. Max and Jesse - OMG WTF FFS etc etc.
• Then we have B(low)J(ob) and his partner Gianne up to do some quick step. It was very good. I must say, I did grow fond of Mr Fellatio in the Top 100 part of Season 1. It's good to have you back kid. No tears please.
• Jazz-a-razz-a with our two Clockwork Orange donned dancers - Chanelle and Loredo. My the film noir cinema industry must be tonight's (un)proud sponsor! So there was no slinky because Ms Perfume kept dropping L on his head - poor lamb. He conked his head several times. Hope there was no permanent damage!

Bottom 3 couples = Max and Jesse; Stephen and Ash-leigh; and Emmanuel and Talia. I think its curtains for M&J. Their performance was downright scary.

No matter how hard you try, you'll never be as scary as me.