As big as Ben Cousins

Benny old boy. You did a bad, bad thing.

Richmond footy "star", recovering drug addict and international ambassador for fuckwits, Ben Cousins, was undoubtedly THE hottest topic on Sunday morning. He was on the television, in the papers and on the radio. And what journalistic gold has surfaced in relation to his latest exploits.

Here are some poignant extracts from the man himself where he notes his act was not a hortatory message for the youth of today nor was it a paroxysmal act of rage against the Weagles but more a funny haha for a man in a van:

"I wasn't angry. I wasn't frustrated. It wasn't a message to the world. In no way did I think the footage was going to air. If nothing else, I thought someone on the end of the camera in a van outside the ground might have got a chuckle out of it. Obviously others saw it differently.

He goes on to say that there are bigger issues in the world than his middle finger and that even Nanna has a penchant for flipping off when the situation warrants:

"There is a recession going on, people are under enormous pressure to pay off mortgages and, indeed, are losing jobs. If people are upset or concerned about what I did, then I wonder where we are headed as a society. To be honest, I was surprised it went to air. Maybe it was a little naive on my behalf considering my situation. But I expected the 'van man' to laugh and move on, not alert everyone at the channel. Within our family we all do it to each other as a joke gesture. I've even seen my grandmother do it.

Two observations: (1) Recession was appropriately used instead of GFC. Props for not confusing his readership that the Geelong Football Club's 'going on' was important to him in any way shape or form. (2) Wondering where we are headed as a society, hey? Yes I too wonder, particularly after learning of your septuagenarian grandmother's inclination to send out the occasional 'up yours'. Oh where, oh where will the seemingly nebulous, ever-shifting boundaries of bad taste lead us Grandma Cousins?

Around 18 months ago, Ben whipped up a similar frisson of astonishment and freneticism. Recall on 1 November 2007 Ben had reportedly gone AWOL in Malibu, never quite making it to the rehab centre where he was to recommence his treatment for his ongoing bothersome addictions to ice (ice baby) and to just generally being irresistibly attractive to both sexes.


When 'missing' his friend was quoted as saying:

"No one has any idea where he is... He's got everyone freaking out because LA's not a good place to be out doing what he may be doing..."

Two observations: (1) "what he may be doing" was a fascinating yet incongruous use of hypothesis given Ben's recent history. (2) IS THERE A BETTER PLACE TO BE DOING IT? Ben simply seized an opportunity in the most exciting adult playground on Earth, as you bloody well would, wouldn't you? Good on him. And they say it never snows in Hollywood! (boom boom chhhh... not to be confused with chk chk boom - although Clare and Ben would make a fine couple, wouldn't they?)

Fin.