The manner of speaking

Eloquence enthusiasts take heed. You are close to annihilation! Come out, come out and defend your turf wherever you are!

After watching yesterday's episode of Insiders on the ABC, it finally all falls into place:

Just like Thom said it would. Maynard he too knows that the pieces fit.

Invisible question marks; parenthetical 'you knows' and 'do you know what I means' have been attaching themselves to sentences for the last few years.

Why has this disturbing phenomenon swept through society like a ravaging vaginal rash? Is the hoy poloy now only capable of speculation and contemplation? Has the human race been overrun with a sense of 'meh' and 'whatever'? Is gross inarticulation the order of the day, year and century?

ARGH!

And it is not confined to the people who were never taught proper grammar at school either. It's everywhere, albeit under slightly different guises.

'Sort of' and 'almost' are the grown up versions of 'like' and 'do you know what I mean'.

For example, demi-god Barrie Cassidy has said:

But it's not just raking over history though because for a while there seemed to be this almost obsession with your preselections that you went for the average Joe rather than the sort of party professional. I suppose Jackie Kelly was the best demonstration of that.

And Malcolm gee-you-really-stuffed-up-with-that-whole-fake-email-thing-but-hey-give-me-some-of-your-money-and-I'll-forgive-you Turnbull has dished out:

If you have a sort of black gallows sense of humour you may recall on Thursday, Julie Bishop the shadow treasurer asked Wayne Swan whether the Government guarantee on wholesale funding, the fee charged for that, would be higher for a BBB rated bank than for a AA rated bank.

And even our beloved leader, K-Rudd:

You know, people ask, you know, what's all this about. Let me just say a few basic things. Personally, I am a huge believer in local government. For me, it's just normal and natural, there's no great sort of trick in this. It's an important, fundamental elementary part of Australia's national life, what you do.

I get the feeling that declarative statements were, sort of, you know, early naughties. Do you, like, know what I mean?

Am I the only living practitioner of the English language that desperately tries to not fall victim to this strange yet addictive affliction? Is there anyone else out there that feels my pain? Articulate your thoughts if you would be so kind.

Yours,
No 1 sufferer of DIS (Diction Irrelevance Syndrome).