Monday, January 19, 2009

You can have too much of a good thing.

Now you all know that I love Obama. But just how many magazine covers can this guy be on? A walk past a newstand recently answered this question.

Answer: All of them (except perhaps Jugs).

Too much of you? Bad, bad, bad! It goes straight to your thighs!


And I certainly think I've had enough of the Fairey Hope image:

The most viewed item on Planet Earth after Madonna's breasts.

Particularly because he thinks its why the man got elected: Other than helping Obama be elected, the other most phenomenal result of this poster is that it’s really opened a lot of people’s eyes to the value of art. - Shepard Fairey, artist, aka extreme Tall Poppy, aka complete and utter knob.

Dear Fairey, Thank you for being such a caring individual, Sincerely, RoW.

I think its time to clear the Etch a Sketch and focus on running the country.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Change has come to America.

"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer." - President-Elect Barack Obama's Acceptance Speech on Election Night.

I must say, I still tear up after I watch the YouTube clip of that speech. Even after the 11th time, it is still THAT powerful.

On the other hand, the United States and the RoW will soon bid adieu to the 43rd President of the United States. A man who has no equal. A man who has been labelled the worst of his kind.

Misguided policies, a war on false pretences, a truly shambolic response to a natural disaster... the list of stuff ups is long and, quite frankly, disturbing.

But one thing that Georgie Boy excelled at was bringing a smile to your dial through an unintentional gaffe.

To celebrate the last few days of Dubya's eight years in office, I, like many other sites on 'The Internets', would like to run through what I consider to be George's finest moments.

12 - "Those who enter the country illegally violate the law."

11 - "Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning?"

10 - "One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."

9 - "I don’t particularly like it when people put words in my mouth, either, by the way, unless I say it."

8 - "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."

7 - "Tribal sovereignty means that, it's sovereign. You're a—you've been given sovereignty, and you're viewed as a sovereign entity. And, therefore, the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities."

6 - "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."

5 - "It's a time of sorrow and sadness when we lose a loss of life."

4 - "Because the—all which is on the table begins to address the big cost drivers. For example, how benefits are calculate, for example, is on the table; whether or not benefits rise based upon wage increases or price increases. There's a series of parts of the formula that are being considered. And when you couple that, those different cost drivers, affecting those—changing those with personal accounts, the idea is to get what has been promised more likely to be—or closer delivered to what has been promised. Does that make any sense to you? It's kind of muddled. Look, there's a series of things that cause the—like, for example, benefits are calculated based upon the increase of wages, as opposed to the increase of prices. Some have suggested that we calculate—the benefits will rise based upon inflation, as opposed to wage increases. There is a reform that would help solve the red if that were put into effect. In other words, how fast benefits grow, how fast the promised benefits grow, if those—if that growth is affected, it will help on the red."

3 - "This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous. And having said that, all options are on the table."

2 - "In terms of timetables, as quickly as possible—whatever that means."

1 - "I think we agree, the past is over."

An entire list of gaffes can be found here.

I'll be glad to see the back of you Dubya.

I could not resist squeezing one more in -- "I'll be long gone
before some smart person ever figures out what
happened inside this Oval Office."

Friday, January 16, 2009

2009 - transmission is resumed.

Hello all,

I must apologise. Your appetite for my insightful drivel is surely growing at an alarming, anorexia-inducing rate.


It's about f*g time, you woke up!


WAD, I was just having way too much fun IRL. :)))

So I could probably deliberate for a few more hours on the enriching experiences that I had over the course of my overseas holiday -- the lessons learned, the benefits gained... but I won't.

Instead, I think it's best that I head off to the pub for a cold one. Only within the AC-d confines will an epiphany of greatness come to me and I'll be able to work something up over the weekend for you to enjoy so much that you jis (only a little) in your Sunday slacks.

Love McLove
Kid A

Friday, December 12, 2008

Seasons eatings and a sojourn.

Hi all

I am off next week to France and then New York. I will return to our sunny shores in mid January. WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

This picture is apt, don't you think?

I know you will all miss me much. Like Janet sings about.


But I know it's time for a holiday when I am in vehement agreeance with another Janet.

Ta ta then.

xxx

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Seven words or less.

Short and punchy. Distilling key elements. Condensed. Like milk in a tiny tube:

Not from cow.

Name of the game = seven words or less.

First, movies:

Under Siege
Chef. Cake. Boobs. Busey is bad guy.

Footloose
Church. Can't dance. Sexual frustration. Can dance.

Mulholland Drive
Lust. Midget. Open the box. Death. Lust.

Snakes on a Plane
Snakes on a Plane.

Finding Nemo
Ocean. Lame jokes. They find him.

The Big Lebowski
Dude. Bowling. Dude. Pee on rug. Nihilists.

Quantum of Solace
Zzzz. Action. Gratuitous sex scene. Twist. Zzzz.

Second, books:

My Life - Bill Clinton
President. Peace in Israel. No inhale. Blowjob.

Mao: A Life - Phillip Short
Ordinary guy. Wins wars. Chaos. Dead tyrant.

Bible
Babies without sex. Miracles. Dead. No body.

Everything is Illuminated - Jonathan Safran Foer
Premium. Jews. Randy dog. Potato on floor.

The Gathering - Anne Enright
Ireland. Distinct lack of potatoes. Angst. Alcohol.

Grug in the Playground - Ted Prior
Grug in the playground. Yay.

The Mighty Book of Boosh
Hahahaha. WTF? Hahahahaha.

Hit me.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Public service land - I salute you.

I have been undergoing a degree of blogging lethargy of late. I don't even have an excuse for being as lively and regular as a constipated camel. It's probably something to do with the large amount of work I've been doing.

Don't rub it in.

Sorry.

Anyway, good news! Last week, I won this:

Divine.

At a work thing. While there may be a degree of nepotism involved there, I will share the benefits with others on Friday.

Anyway, I thought it would be time to celebrate the oft-found-in-a-kitchen-or-bathroom-near-you, passive-aggressive office sign.

Somebody ain't me.

While some of you like the odd sink wash, I do think this may be a waste of A4 paper.

If my mother worked here, god help you all!

Who writes these chestnuts? I like to think the authors of these signs are righteous and self-aggrandising. They are smug bastards. They seek to push their virtuous view on to the rest of the world's occupants - where the 'world' refers to the tiny microcosm of space, encompassing the toilets, the kitchen and 2 or more partitioned office spaces.

I could write more but I have a headache :/

Monday, December 1, 2008

According to Doyle.

Good day fellow travellers! I hope you are feeling wonderful, wild and slightly moist on this Manic Monday.

Now I'm sure you have all seen the most controversial bit of news since the poolato incident at the Coogee Beach Hotel.

He's written a list and he's checking it twice.

Doyle's plan is to rid Melbourne's CBD of the badly talented buskers.

We find this proposal slightly disquieting

Tell me about it.

The reasoning behind this is that Doyle does not want the city to be a 'bogan magnet'. Ummm... unfortunately dear Doyle, the bogans are not getting pulled into the gravitational force being administered by Mr S. Manipulator esq. nor are they magnetically attracted to Bernadette's fingers dancing over her gilded piano accordion.

Instead it is a simple network effect - one bogan coming to the city, attracts another, and another...
"Oh my gawwd, Jeht, JEHT, are you coming? Look at this Jeht. JEHT! This is fucking top shit. Hey dipshit, get over here or I will fucking hurt you! Can you fucking hear me Jeht? Do you want me to hurt you fuckface? I'll smash you. etc etc"

Birds of a feather flock together Doyle. Don't you forget it.

And why buskers? Buskers are fabulous! Allowing buskers to turn a buck on our city streets foists some seriously quirky characters on to the public consciousness (several very literally larger than life). It also incites vociferous debate and provides ample opportunities to ridicule those that are utterly convinced of their vocal supremacy when they actually sound like the worst thing that came out of this country musically since Toni Pearen's first single produces many quasi-polished performances.

Doyle - one day in, and you are already headed for a mayorship that can be depicted graphically as thus:

Most liveable city --> a city in shambles

Fin.