Best thing to come out of Tasmania excluding King Island dairy products and Jamie Churchill from YTT
Even since Russell Robertson snapped his achilles tendon earlier this year, he has been (overly) focused on his music career. That's right, after being pipped at the post by funny woman Julia Morris on It Takes Two, Russell has been busy in the recording studio, cobbling together his best hits for his album.
I nearly fell over when I saw this at JB Hi Fi at the weekend. Indeed, on a close inspection of the CD, there is a star-shaped sticker saying 'yes this is REAL'.
Featuring such stellar classics as Summer of '69 and the much-loved, pants dropping classic, Eagle Rock. This will be sure to be a hit with about 8 people. Not to worry, I'm sure the Chinese will use the spare copies wisely.
In other news, last night was Thanh's last hurrah. Toodles to you!
We'll get some overhead lifters and four barrel quads, oh yeah
To honour the genre that brought us air guitar, hotel room trashing and headless bats, the team at Idol brought in sister-girlfriend’s son-in-law, Kirk Pengilly from INXS.
Tim Farriss also showed up to help the Idols at rehearsals but spent most of the time having hallucinatory acid flashbacks. Ironically, this meant his advice to the Idols was nothing short of sound.
Despite this, rock night was about as edgy as my nana in her oversized Fosseys’ nighty.
The best dish at the Rock and Roll pie shop:
I like my sauce on the side.
The Top 8 performances were generally woeful with three notable exceptions. Come on team! We are at the stage of the competition where greatness is needed/demanded/required. We need a Cosima pre-throat nodules rendition of ‘When the War is Over’. We require a Callea orgasmic delivery of the ‘The Prayer’. We demand a Bobby Flynn dulcet toned ‘Superfreak’.
There are some that are capable of said greatness (Wes, Spanno, Chrislyn and Roshani), the rest are sadly lacking.
8. Thanh Bui
This man just does not have the pipes. Even to belt out the Linkin Park, uber soft core Shadow of the Day, I felt like I was listening to this from under the sea. Henceforth, I am convinced that he must mime into the mike and John Foreman sneaks backstage to press play on the tape that was taped from a tape on some dodgy Sanyo tape player from 1986. Either that or is there is an invisible tunnel between his mouth and the microphone.
Being noi-vous ain’t no excuse. Indeed, even if he summoned up the verbal capacity to tell Australia what that excuse could be--as Kyle quite rightly pointed out--no one cares.
*runs off to finish Engineering homework*
7. Sophie Paterson
The problem with this performance was one that was present from the get-go. Everyone loves this song (Ana included) so Soph couldn't help but stand in the shadow of the great Daniel Johns. Even with some sort of degree of difficulty measure thrown in, this was a bit of a mess. Soph seemed to revert to her ol' I-am-in-dire-need-of-elocution-lessons self. Kyle seems to be tricked by those faux sensitivities, even telling Soph she is the thinking person’s crumpet! Soph is currently in a meeting workshopping her message to Australia.
*holds breath*
6. Teale "Jabba the Hutt" Denko Surprisingly shunning his innate animal attraction to singing something naff and homegrown, like Craig McLachlan’s Hey Mona, Jabba delivered an almost pitch perfect rendition of Slide.
Was it just me or did everyone start looking around nervously thinking how they could they have possibly stepped into an elevator without noticing?!? Yawn!
Aunty Marcia asked Jabba to use the sex. Kyle told him he looked like a pre-public toilet George Michael. Talk about mixed messages!
I’m sorry but Teale has about as much sex appeal as the Poky Little Puppy.
5. The Shearer
While Thanh needs to pump up the volume, Luke needs to drop a decibel or two. It’s a case of all or nothing with LD. One dimensional. Given that's two less than three so SFK's “I’m not satisfied, I want something more!” would need to be multiplied by 2 factorial.
What? Exactly.
Still this was a bit tooooo good for my liking...
4. Chrislyn Hamilton This performance brought another fine display of Marcia-isms: “You are a singer."
This comment only topped by the all-time favourite from a few seasons ago: "Your head just opened up; notes came out. What more can I say."
Indeed, her regular comment brought out at least once per season is not particularly shabby either: “(Insert name here), you know what you just did. That's all I've got to say to you.”
Now that we have established that Chrislyn is indeed a singer, we can move on. She was looking a bit spesh with all that pretty make up. However, I’m sure if we examined that vest more closely we would see a faintly stiched ‘Lassiter's Hotel’ on the side.
Anyway, how's the treadmill been treating you CH?
3. Roshani Priddis Euphonious is the word to describe this girl. It is a large word. You might need to google it. This sister-girlfriend takes the risks each week and they tend to pay off. Sadly, the mid song pelvic thrust on the mini stage in front of the judges was met with no comment. I guess the pelvic thrust substituted for the obligatory mid‑song squat that the Roshy Shoshy usually cobbles together. But the clothes… WTF?
2. Mark ‘I’m f*king the make up artist’ Spanner
Clearly an ode to the burning itch in his pants, Spanno belted out Sex on Fire like he meant it. Yeah. Also of interest were the scary, squinty eyes showing that not only can Spanno sing but is also well versed in mediumship. Allison Du Bois eat your heart out.
1. The Bomb Remodelling the jacket from the cover of Sgt. Peppers’ was our favourite, Wes Carr. Who bears a somewhat striking resemblance to the lion from the Wizard of Oz:
Anyway...
Carr put more punch in Desire than Rocky V. And the use of the harmonica was just magical in that Bruce McAvaney way. Now that's what I'm talking about!
As per my post of last Tuesday titled 'R.I.P and near death experiences', there was mention of foie gras.
It is yummy.
However, you can purchase this in snack form for your dog.
I'm a little princess
Diamantes were so last season.
As the author notes, it is hard to determine to whether this is a lower-end luxury item or a super luxury item. I think that's an irrelevant question. Relevant questions to ask here include: (1) are the people who own these dogs clinically insane? (2) how do these people take themselves seriously? etc.
First, my sincerest of sincere apologies for being MIA over the last few days. I can only say that the irksome hindrance that is most commonly referred to as "full time employment" is to blame for my absence. While this FT employment thing purports to be a worthwhile enterprise (mostly in a fiscal sense), we all know that in the cold, harsh light of reality, the fortnightly additions to one’s transaction account tend to be offset by the decline in one’s will to live.
In fact, let me just point the finger at one little incident in particular:
Show us your derivatives Daryl
Ahem.
On a lighter note, it is time to celebrate our unsung political heroes. Those among us that are not necessarily at the forefront of policy. Those among us that tend to be pushed out of the public spotlight by their political party counterparts. Those among us that you would not know existed if they were not your local MP (Antony Green being the exception).
Yes that’s right. It’s time to celebrate the backbenchers. In this regular segment, we will look at how backbenchers do their bit for this sunburnt country of ours. We will look at:
the degree to which they have their fingers on the “pulse”
how they devote their energies wisely to “making a difference”
whether they strive to bridge the "gap" between the politics we need and the politics we have
whether their political "desires" are manufactured or channelled directly from their cruel little souls a la Exorcist
As you know (because you are a smart little cookie), a backbencher is an MP that is not a minister or shadow minister. Backbenchers sit in the backbenches (very tricky that).
Episode 1 – The Cheeky Cheesologist (the CC) Darren Cheeseman is the local MP of the seat of Corangamite. Great Ocean Road territory.
Triple cream brie for me.
Prior to winning his seat at the last election, the Liberals had held the seat for a very, VERY long time. In fact, the existing candidate was so old and decrepit, his next job surely had to be scheduling hip replacement surgery or perhaps even organising his prepaid funeral.
So how did the CC win the seat? Well it was a bit of luck, a bit of demographic change in the electorate, a bit of thinking among the electorate that Workchoices was the devil’s spawn… In fact, in this convoluted hodge podge called 'life', it is not really clear why the feck he won, but he did.
CC’s best hits Just prior to the election, the CC announced he was commissioning some sort of study to see whether it would be cost-effective to build a stadium in Long Gee so they can get an A-League team.
A fine political promise. Perhaps the suggestion that we abandon the use of the term ‘soccer’ is going a bit far though! Baby steps...
Shortly after the election, the CC’s wife punched out a kiddy and he got all mushy in his first parliamentary speech. Obviously, he was so struck by the moment that for a brief time, the rest of the world slowly fell away…
FOCUS please!
Then it was on to infrastructure in that way where you are announcing to do something without really doing anything. But an announcable nonetheless.
And most recently, water efficiency. Looks like a small dice proposition but you never know, this may be potentially worthwhile even if its not press release worthy.
I expect bigger and better things from the CC in the near future.
2) Last song in Juno, particularly: Up up down down left right left right B A start Just because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smart I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else But you
Now I am quite partial to a bit of 24. And I am a LARGE fan of Tony Almeida. He puts Macgyver to shame. His strong command of the English language - yah, uh-huh, aight - is a sheer viewing pleasure.
BUT love aside, you can't do a back-from-the-dead with Tony. He is more than that FOX Broadcasting! The man died in quite traumatic fashion after trying to avenge Michelle's death. The man died in Jack's arms. The man DIED.
Should I have seen this coming?
Most likely. You see, 24 is a complex little show. It has a clear policy on death. Only when they use the silent clock are people truly dead or at least some punk has had a pretty decent shot at offing someone.
Silent clock usage includes:
Day 1 - Teri Bauer was killed at the hands of nasty Nina Myers in the last hour.
Day 2 - (1) George Mason leaving CTU and (2) the crappy attempt to kill President Palmer.
Day 3 - After Jack had to kill Ryan Chappelle.
Day 5 - Edgar Stiles dies after inhaling lungfulls of nerve gas.
Day 6 - Jack says bye bye to Audrey Raines.
Important moments that are not characterised by silent clock usage:
Season 4.
Death of Tony.
Tony, you are my hero.
For those other Tony lovers out there, check this out:
Best thing to come out of Tasmania excluding King Island dairy products and Jamie Churchill from YTT
We'll get some overhead lifters and four barrel quads, oh yeah
.jpg)
